Your Greatest Teachers
In the past couple of months two people have came into my experience, both of exactly the same ages, but that’s where the similarity ends.
The first person was really nice, always pleasant, respectful, obliging, cheerful, great that’s the sort of people we want in our life. We don’t want complaining negative people, they sabotage our positivity.
The second person although pleasant, charming, witty, kind and straight talking, there was evidence very early on of an addiction, and being a non-judgemental person I let people be who they are, unless it affects me personally then that is different, as I’m always saying about protecting your good feelings.
So there’s the fully functional positive person, and the dysfunctional negative person.
Which person do you think I’ve learnt the most from? Yes you’ve guessed it, the dysfunctional one, because I’ve had to dig deep into resources I didn’t know existed to deal with this person. It’s been a total eye opener and learning curve.
It’s taught me to be compassionate, kind, to be powerfully assertive in a non-confrontational way, clarity of the situation after initially being confused, forgiveness, seeing good in the person even though they couldn’t see it in themselves, and emphasizing that goodness in spite of the dysfunctional behaviour, setting clear boundaries, immense trust and love that all will work out well for this person.
We often take it personally when people behave badly or inappropriately, but we must remember that the battle is always with themselves.
Of course we want happy, positive, nice people in our lives and it stands to reason that we will attract this type of person if we’re consistently positive.
But never under estimate the growth factor when you encounter someone who is dysfunctional or pushes your buttons, it teaches you to dig deep to find the best possible ways to deal with them. It makes you strong and courageous and better able to cope when it happens next time.
Yes your tormentors are really your mentors, your greatest teachers, and although we don’t like it when it’s happening it feels negative and uncomfortable, it’s well worth remembering that they are teaching us to be better people, a more competent communicator, compassionate, kind, forgiving assertive, courageous and loving, and you will discover what you are truly made of.
Lots of Love